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7 Secrets to Make Motherhood a Successful Career
Have you been a professional mother (it is a true profession, whether acknowledged or not) but now you find your mothering skills are in less demand? Are the fruits of your efforts, your children, growing up? You will always be their...
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Public Schools --- Why On Earth Do We Need Them?
From the time the Mayflower landed at Plymouth Rock in 1620 until the 1850s, most parents taught their children to read at home or sent their children to small private or religious grammar schools. Education was voluntary and local governments did...
SmartStart: Home-Based Cognitive and Language Remediation Program for Internationally Adopted Children
Children of different ages adopted internationally are often "at risk"
educationally. Deprived of essential learning experiences in orphanages, children
are indeed disadvantaged and may have cognitive and language problems moving to
more...
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The Economics of True Love
In the real world, can there be romance without finance? A common saying: No romance, without finance. But what does it mean really? After a little thought about it and a hard look at the big picture, we see that it actually derives from the...
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HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS: START THAT CONVERSATION
HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS: START THAT CONVERSATION
Word count: 339
Annie waited too long to have that talk with her parents. It was too late to have it now as they were both beyond comprehending the seriousness of their situation. As a result, she had to break the bad news to a long lost brother, and deal with her resistant parents who had convinced themselves that they were independent in their own home, while she had to make some very difficult decisions for them.
It’s never too soon to begin the discussion of aging. But if you have put it off, ease into that conversation as soon as the first, what may seem minor event occurs which indicate a loved one’s independence may be in jeopardy. Since it is difficult to begin such a talk, here are some suggestions which may help:
-use another family’s situation or news story as an example or starting point.
-cut out an article or an ad as a reference point.
-ask questions at a family gathering, but keep it light.
-plan a family meeting with the agenda known by all beforehand.
Starting the conversation with “I” statements ensure that you will not sound accusatory
and lets your feelings come through. For example:
-I am worried…
-I feel…
-I am concerned…
-I have noticed…
Engage in a conversation, taking turns, instead of talking at others. Use questions:
-What things concern you?
-What do you want to do about…
-What do you want to do when…
Conveying love and concern is important. Sometimes an outside person can have more influence than those in the immediate family. Be patient. If the first attempt doesn’t go well, keep your sense of humor and try again at a later time.
Linda LaPointe, MRA is an ElderLife Matters Coach who was a long term care administrator. She is the author of several products to help families, including the educational board game, In My Shoes: An Aging Family. See them and get free articles and information at www.SOSpueblo.com
About the Author
Linda LaPointe, MRA is an ElderLife Matters Coach who was a long term care administrator. She is the author of several products to help families, including the educational board game, In My Shoes: An Aging Family. See them and get free articles and information at www.SOSpueblo.com
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